Word of the Day: titivate

When my pig was going to be interviewed on Miss Piggy’s new talk show, the hair and makeup artists spent a lot of time trying to titivate his appearance, adding just the right touches to make it so that his skin would sparkle and shimmer in the sunlight.

Word of the Day: foofaraw

My pig hates going to big cities because he finds the flashing signs, lights and other foofaraw that decorates every building and street corner to be overwhelming.

Word of the Day: burgeon

My pig said that a lot of the rules he has set up for his Holy Hogtied Church of Swineytology are in place simply to prevent an overly rapid rate of growth as many churches have failed because they began to burgeon more quickly than their infrastructure, doctrine and internal politics could handle.

Word of the Day: esurient

The township’s school district asked my pig if he could supply the school children with a daily batch of warm, nutritious Corn and Beer stew, but my pig had to refuse because there simply is not enough beer available to satisfy the large number of esurient elementary school kids in our town.

Word of the Day: bifurcate

My pig felt that his company lost its focus after he invented Radishing Roots, a second tasty food offering to go along with his famous Corn and Beer Stew, and so he decided to bifurcate the company into two separate divisions so that each delicious product could have the proper amount of focus put on it by a dedicated team of chefs, quality testers, marketing personnel and sales people.

Word of the Day: raffish

My pig is thought to be a terribly boring individual because of his professional demeanor, but when you get him to a party and pump him full of green jello and lemon ginger ale he will become the life of the party, amusing everyone with his amazingly funny, raffish behaviors.

Word of the Day: incarnadine

My pig toyed with the idea of using a tomato base for his famous Corn and Beer stew, but he despises the color red and was therefore not happy with the incarnadine results of the experiment with tomatoes.

Word of the Day: adjuvant

My pig does not like alcohol but he uses the beer in his famous Corn and Beer Stew as an adjuvant to more fully bring out the flavor of the corn, beans and rice that make up the majority of the stew and since he cooks the stew for a long time there is no longer any alcohol in the delectable dish that reaches your plate, only perfect flavor remains.

Word of the Day: gaucherie

My pig is no longer invited to any of the other kids’ birthday parties because of his gaucherie, as the other kids finally tired of him making a fool out of himself when he would scramble up onto the dining room table in order to do the traditional Swiney Cake Dance  to offer peace, hope and good luck to the kid whose birthday it was.

Word of the Day: ameliorate

My pig really likes the spaciousness and the fact that there is a jacuzzi in the back of my brand new, pre-shrunk Hummer, but he still tries to convince me to stop driving it because he wants to ameliorate the impact of our vehicles on the global environment and that environmental improvement is more important to him than any creature comforts the spacious vehicle might be able to provide.

Word of the Day: sinuous

My pig is a lumbering oaf when he walks around the house, tripping on things and generally being a hazard to be around, but when he gets up on stage during a dance recital, he performs the most sinuous dances, spinning and leaping with a grace and elegance that is rarely seen.

Word of the Day: predilection

One of my pig’s biggest pet peeves about his school is that while they always encourage him to read, they never allow him to explore his natural predilection toward science fiction thrillers about pigs who save the universe from evil horse emperors, giant green marshmallow snowmen and psychotic gelatinous entities from the Hogwarthian Galaxy.

Word of the Day: traduce

My pig is not a fan of my brand new, pre-shrunk Hummer but he was the first to jump to my defense when the neighbors wrote vicious letters to the editor of our local newspaper in an effort to traduce my character by making up horrible lies about the excessiveness of my poor, maligned, dieseling behemoth of a vehicle, claiming falsely that there are four bathrooms, two jacuzzis and a wet bar  in it when the reality is that no one needs more than three bathrooms in their Hummer and I, in fact, have only two because I wanted to do my part to combat climate change.